5 Ways to Feel Put Together (Even When You're Not)

5 Ways to Feel Put Together (Even When You're Not)

Feeling off your game? Here are five things to do when not feeling your best.


By: Karen Walrond

There are days when everything is going great: You’re having a great hair day and your style is tight. Work is a piece of cake. You’re attentive to your partner and kids, and you are feeling absolutely, positively put together.

And then there are those other days.

The fact is that there are times when we feel a bit off of our game. But there are also things we can do to help us get past it. Some of it requires a bit of prep beforehand, but all are guaranteed to make you appear to be far more pulled together than you feel.

1. Start a Feel Good File
Get a manila folder and print out any emails where someone complimented you. Add them to the folder together with any kind notes, letters or cards you’ve received in which someone says something nice about you. No such evidence? Think back to the last time someone made you feel like a million bucks by saying something kind, opening the door for you or noticing a talent you have. Jot the memory down on a piece of paper. Shove it in the folder. Do this every time someone makes you feel great. Then pull out the file and look through it every time you need a boost.

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2. Pre-Screen Your Wardrobe
To be clear, I’m not saying that you should always be on-trend and of the latest fashion — unless that’s what makes you feel powerful. Instead, I’m suggesting you cull your closet, keeping only those things that fit well and that you really enjoy wearing. Clothes may not make the woman, but clothes that make her feel fabulous do help her in turn feel more confident.

3. Keep Your Favourite Accessory on Hand
If you have an accessory that always cheers you up, keep it on hand. A favourite lipstick? Make sure it’s in your purse. A flattering scarf? Throwing it on is an easy way to make your outfit feel pulled together. Once again: This isn’t about following some sort of trend — this is about knowing what makes you feel great.

4. Sincerely Compliment Someone.
Showing someone you appreciate them — especially when you pay them a heartfelt compliment about their talents or gifts — will not only make the recipient of your kind words feel awesome, it’ll also make you feel and appear more self-assured, too. It’s like a two-in-one shot of fuzzy feelings.

5. Stop Comparing
It's natural to be curious about what others are doing or how they’re behaving, but one of the biggest wastes of time is comparing yourself with someone else, particularly since it is impossible to speak or act precisely like another person. The inevitable result is disappointment. Accept the fact that who you are is different from everyone else. You may find that believing in this will be incredibly freeing.

That said, be sure to make the distinction between comparison and inspiration (because inspiration is critical to self-improvement). Comparison will make you feel bad about yourself or stir ugly feelings of resentment or jealousy. It is completely destructive and should be avoided at all costs. Inspiration, however, will spur you to try harder and do better work. Inspiration encourages experimentation of your own techniques and gifts. Inspiration is a good thing and should be strongly encouraged (but should always give credit where possible).



When she isn't sharing tips on StyleUnited on how to add more awesome to your life, you can find Karen on Chookooloonks.com. She's on a mission to prove to you that your life is filled with different, unique moments of beauty, starting with her book, The Beauty of Different. Her work can be seen on Babble.com, TEDxHouston and USAToday.

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